


Oachkatzerlschwoaf

by Roterwolkenvogel



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Other, it sounded like a good idea at that time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-25 00:22:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3789700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roterwolkenvogel/pseuds/Roterwolkenvogel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Stiles and Scott go on a student exchange to Germany and get in trouble with the local gang of jackalopes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oachkatzerlschwoaf

**Author's Note:**

> I wish I could say that I came up with this idea on my own but that would be lying - the idea solely belongs to [nessaniel](http://nessaniel.livejournal.com/) who kindly allowed me to use it and I stumbled over it in the [FAQ](http://deutsch-fandom.livejournal.com/63014.html) of the LJ community [deutsch-fandom](http://deutsch-fandom.livejournal.com). I most likely also didn't do the idea justice but since I so rarely manage to write fanfics with an actual ending, I still wanted to publish it.
> 
> I also left the parts that are spoken in Bavarian untranslated for now as it adds - at least to the English speaking reader (and prolly everyone who else who does not understand Bavarian) - to the general confusion Scott and Stiles suffer through.

“Did you even look at the calendar before you signed yourself an Scott up for that student exchange!?”, as usual Derek is grouchy as hell and holding Stiles up by the neck like a particular unruly puppy. “N-no?”, the boy stutters confused, trying to signal Scott to help a bro out right now but the guy is too busy sucking off Allison’s face to even notice. Figures. “It’s full moon you idiot”, the Alpha growls and oooh, right. Full moon is bad since Scott got bitten. Stiles tends to forget since he’s so used to his friend’s hairy problem by now. “Don’t sweat it Derek, we’ll be out in one of the more rural areas – lots and lots of free space to let Scotty roam free once he’s all wolfed out. Plus full moon isn’t until our last day in Germany anyway, so what could possible go wrong?”, Stiles is trying to placate: “Besides, now it's already too late to quit, flight is all booked and stuff and coach would get an aneurysm if he had to re-plan the whole thing just cos one student is dropping out. I’ll make sure no one gets hurt, promise!”. Derek just huffs in disbelief and drops Stiles unceremoniously on the ground, shaking his head sadly as if he had personally offended his ancestors. He’ll show the guy that he’s fully capable of damage control!

 

 

Stiles regrets his overenthusiastic promise when the chartered shuttle drops them off at the village the exchange students from Germany come from. Describing it as ‘rural’ might be the nicest thing that can be said about it. It’s just a small accumulation of homesteads, a church and an honest-to-god maypole. The villagers however are open and friendly and it turns out that Bavarian cuisine can actually fill the bottomless pit Scott calls his stomach. And the family they are staying with actually looks delighted that Scott will eat them out of house and home during his stay.

 

The week in Germany passes with a trip to Munich, several visits to castles of Ludwig II and on a memorable occasion a trip to the Starnberger lake where they spend two hours hiking around until they spot the cross in the lake that marks the place of the king’s death. They are kept busy enough that Stiles forgets about the impending full moon and only gets reminded when Scott grabs him by the arm and wrestles him into the cowshed to hiss “It’s tonight!” at him in such a panicked voice that he feels the need to ruffle his hair reassuringly. “No worries my canine friend, it’ll be just peachy!”

 

 

And so Stiles finds himself running through a corn field shortly before midnight, huffing and puffing to keep up with Scott who prances around the grass like an overexcited puppy. Probably on sensory overload due to all these new scents which must assault him a lot more once he’s wolfed out. Lost in his musings Stiles completely misses that Scott has stopped running around to cower in the grass until he trips him up and he finds himself with a mouthful of grassy dirt while Scotts holds him down. “Dude!”, he exclaims and Scott hushes him, worry in his golden eyes. At first Stiles is confused but then he hears the voices.

 

“Und wenn I dir's doch soag, Sepp! Doa woar a Wolf! A grousa!“ – „A geh, Wiggerl! Hoast wieda z' dief ins Gloas gschaut, ha?“

 

Scott and Stiles exchange confused glances and Scott whispers „Do you understand anything?“ Stiles, still pressed down on the ground, gives a half-shrug and whispers back “Some words but it does not really sound like German at all.”

 

“Geh schleich di! I woass wos I geseng hob!“ – “Streits eich ned!”, a third voice chimes in: “Wenn do a Wolf is, findn mia ihn!”

 

“Wait”, Stiles begins and Scott adds “That sounds like the guy we’re staying with!” Said guy looks like the stereotypical Bavarian with a beard, a lederhosen and a pipe he’s constantly smoking. He’s also the one who looks the most approving when Scott wolfs down this third refill at dinner. The speaker now seems to start weaving through the corn where the two of them are still hiding and he can feel Scott tense beside him before he pops up like a jack-in-the-box and he hears a surprised yell of “Da Wolf!” Silently cursing Stiles gets up as well and sees himself face to face with three surprised looking farmers, each of them armed with a shotgun. And Scott is still wolfed out. He suddenly wishes that taking a German course would have been mandatory before being able to sign up for the exchange because at least their host speaks no lick of English. Scott growls and takes a step in front of Stiles. Who already sees the headline “Two exchange students found dead in a cornfield, shot. Police is clueless” flashing before his eyes.

 

The three men however surprise him. There’s a sudden _knack_ and he can see their facial structures shifting and morphing. It looks like they are wolfing out but once their faces settle again Stiles blurts out “Are those bunnies!? With antlers!?”. Their host, who stands flanked by the other two makes a noise that sounds like a strangled growl and starts to speak “Wos bei oin guadn Geistern macht ihr denn hia draußn!?”. “E-excuse me-”, Stiles stammers and one of the other two interrupts “Kennst du de zwoa, Joseph?” - “Des han zwoa vo de Austauschschüla aus Amerika, Sepp! Du hosd doch aa zwoa auf am Hof“. „De han aba ned nachts unterwegs und zerstörn Koanfelda!“, the last one grouses and Stiles tries again „Excuse me, but we don’t actually speak German but we can assure you that we have no intention to harm anyone and-“. “Wos hosd du gsogt?“, their hosts asks and since the other two look to him Stiles assumes that he’s the Alpha… of whatever random breed of shapeshifters they ran into.

“What?”, Scott growls irritated. “Wos dei Freind gsogt hod hod er gefrogt”, the guy called Sepp asks and Scott only grows more confused. Which is unfortunate during full moon as he tends to lose his calm sooner than later. “Kimm uns ned frech“, Wiggerl, the last one, sounds annoyed and hoists his gun higher so that the muzzle points straight at Scott and Stiles. Stiles arms shoot up while Scott takes his fighting stance, ready to pounce on one of the three guys and to leave Stiles, who has no freakish werewolf healing abilities, unprotected in the firing line. He does not dare to take down his hands.

 

“Lass des Wiggerl, geh heim und weck dei Tochta, de hod doch Englisch in da Schul”, their host says without looking away from Scott and Wiggerl does indeed lowers the gun and turns around, falling into a quick jog. Joseph gives Scott and Stiles a half-smile that is probably meant to be reassuring that no bloodshed is planned but he does not shift back and Scott does not stand down. Stiles however drops his hurting arms, now that no gun is pointed at him. The silence until they can hear Wiggerl returning is rather uncomfortable and Stiles can’t stop shifting from one foot to the other and is for once not talking like a waterfall since the remaining two men can’t understand him anyway and Scott probably would not appreciate being interrupted in the stare contest he has going with Joseph.

 

With Wiggerl comes a girl in a pajama, her hair unbrushed and the eyes still crusted with sleep. She only awakes once she can see Scott clearly and turns to the three men to announce: “Des is a Werwolf!”. Stiles only catches the last word that sounds similar to ‘werewolf’ and says “Yes, right, werewolf! At least Scott is. And he can’t harm a fly so there is no need to shoot us! We didn’t know that you were some kind of… I dunno, mutated were-bunnies?”. “Wos hod er gsogt, Anna?“, Joseph asks and the girl says „ Sei Freind is a Werwolf und sie woin uns nix doa... und sie denkn, mia han Hasn!”. That sets Wiggerl and Sepp off into roaring laughter and Joseph shakes his head. “Sog ihna, sie soin z´ruck ins Bett gehn. Kinda soitn nachts ned draußn sei, sie kanntn Wesn begegna, dane sie ned g'wachsn han.“ The girl turns back to Scott and Stiles and says „You’ll follow me and go back to bed. It’s dangerous out at night“. For Stiles this sounds like a sensible advice and he says so. Scott gives him a disbelieving look but follows the girl, not after giving the three men a withering glare.

 

“What are they?”, Stiles asks the girl after they are – hopefully – out of earshot of the were-bunny-men. “Wolpertinger”, she answers and that’s the last she says until she drops them off at Joseph’s farm and leaves them to sneak up the stairs and into their beds.

 

 

Breakfast next morning is a tense affair as both Stiles and Scott half expect their host to have told at least his family of their nightly encounter but he doesn’t even spare them a passing glance and his wife loads Scotts plates thrice more after he asks and still smiles sweetly and so Stiles assumes that this whole ordeal is done and over with, now that they leave shortly before lunch to board a plane back to Beacon Hills.

 

 

Until he and Scott arrive at Derek’s loft for a pack meeting this day and Stiles is pinned to the wall while Derek snarls “Jackalopes, fucking jackalopes!”, right into his ear and he can hear Peter laughing his ass off on the stairs.

Turns out half of the German exchange students were in fact were-jackalopes (“Wolpertinger is the German word for jackalope”, Chris not-so-helpfully adds while Isaac tells the tale) and there had been a slightly bloody run in of the local werewolves, the foreign jackalopes and Chris with a gun, yelling translations between the two groups to avoid further bloodshed.

Derek announces a ban of student exchanges until further notice after Lydia muses aloud if she should join one to Transylvania because “I don’t need to deal with vampires, Lydia! Jackalopes were enough!”.


End file.
